Love on the road Part 7

I just stood there, and enjoyed the people screaming and yelling and singing along with us.
it was so exciting to play in an new country.
i sang along with sall her voice and played my guitar, meanwhile when i moved a bit over the stage i saw Lauri watching me and saw he liked it what i did.
and then i saw Pauli, it made me giggle cause he was headbanging on the music just like me and Aki stood there and laughed about him.
Eero just stood there and watched us and just listend i guessed, good to know cause i really want to know their opinion about our music.
with that we played a cover song from Hysterica, We Are The Undertakers.
such an awesome song! i liked it from the beginning and now we are covering it, with big succes!
With that we stopped playing and thanked everyone for coming and for listening to our music and said we hoped to come back soon.
The crowd kept on yelling we had to play one last song, so we went back on stage and sall said " here's one last song for you guys thank you..."
we played the song i made for Richard one year ago.
perfect song for my emotions, but also very weird cause it was like i wanted to addict this song to Lauri.
it felt like i played this song for Lauri, but i played it always for Richard.
which was pretty weird, but didn't felt wrong.
i knew Lauri would understand this song like nobody else would understand it.
so i watched him and i saw the gaze of his eyes at me and laugh and focus I knew that he understood how important this issue is for me.
Then we really had to stop playing and thanked the public again and went of stage, Lauri and the other guys were waiting for me and said they loved our music.
Pauli said " Yeah, it totally rocked! had to keep headbanging!! "
i laughed and said "yeah, i saw that!, but it was the same as me, when i'm on stage i can't stop headbanging, i just love to do it !!"
Then i walked outside to smoke an cigarette and noticed Lauri followed me, i smiled and said "liked my music ? "
Lauri laughed and said "it really totally rocked! i just loved it, and especially the last song... i mean, i know you wroted it first for someone else but i remember you to that person which made you sing that song for me... that was something really beautiful and something i didn't expected but that's something i like about you..."
i blushed a bit and said "i looked into your eyes and you gazed at me and from that moment i knew you knew the meaning of the song, and i realised indeed that i played it for you, because i like you the same way as i liked Richard..."
Lauri smiled and said " Thanks, i really appreciate it that you shared this with me.."
with that he kissed me gently and carefull and i wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back passionatly.
with that he brought me back to the hotel and went to his room, he undressed me with passion i've never felt before and i did the same to him.
he slowly started to kiss my neck and then licked my ear, which made me shiver from lust.
i kissed him on his lips carefully and started to kiss his neck to and did to him the same as he did to me, i heard him sighing and i giggled and looked him in the eyes.
he looked back and his head came to mine, and i felt his lips rubbing on my lips now with a bit more passion then before and i happily agreeded.
with that he grabbed me and carried me to the bed and layed me down and he came lay down next to me.
i became a bit shy, but he kissed me with such passion that i forgot it and kissed him back even more.
then he opened my bra and throwed it away, with that i removed his boxer and he did mine.
with that i layed naked with him in bed and i thought about Richard and tried to get him out of my mind but didn't worked.
Lauri kissed me while he layed on the top of me and said "what's up hunny?"
i smiled and said " can't help it, have to think about him.."
Lauri came lay down next to and said "don't worry, don't be so hard for yourself...let's wait for an while okay ? "
i just nodded and didn't knew what to say.
Lauri felt a few hours later a sleep next to and i just couldn't sleep, i stood up and grabbed Lauri his bathrobe and walked to the window and litted an cigarette and then, i didn't knew why but i broke into little pieces, i cried silently so nobody would hear it, and especially Lauri, i just liked him to much and didn't want him to feel my pain.
i thought about everything that happend into my life, when i was 12 my parents died in a car accident, my grandparents adopted me and i lived with them happily to have some people around me who still loved me... but also they died, when i wasn't at home for an night when i was 18, i went out with friends. when i came back they lay dead in the livingroom, they were robbed and shooted and they bleeded to death.
i cried and didn't knew what to do, i decided i had work somewhere and couldn't go to school, i worked in a pub, day and night.
then i started to know Thomas, he started to like me he told me and i told him the same, he talked to me like nobody else did and i started to trust him.
a few months later he started to abuse me and i runned away him chasing after me, i fall and couldn't get up anymore, i was to tired to go any further, i knew the moment and the feeling exactly when Thomas grabbed me, i thought then it was done for me, that my life was over but i heard someone yelling and hitting him and i fell on the ground again, i felt a pair of hands picking my up and heard them whispering that i was gonna be okay.
then i heard somebody talking to me, i guessed the guy who saved me, that guy was Richard, he took me to his home and said to his mates that it was okay and i would be fine.
he took care for me for a while and after that i wanted to go, but he wouldn't let me go, i started to trust him a bit and he wanted me to live in his house with his parents, and they agreeded.
i started working in a supermarket and earned money to go to school, from that moment i started to love my music, and my life got better, i believed that all the bad things stopped and that i oould live my life.
when we got older i knew that i loved Richard and finally we loved eachother, but not for a long time, in that same time i got such good friends, like lenn, steel, sall, rebel.
and they were thank god still here, but what about Lauri ? what if i stayed with him, would he end the same us everyone i loved ?
i didn't wanted that and made an decision, i can't love him because in order of that , that i can protect him not to die, i rather stay friends with him, then love him and that someone again would die.
i putted on my clothes and wroted a message for him and layed it on my pillow.
with that i sneaked out of the room and got back to mine and fall asleep inmiddiatly.

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