Love on the road Part 4

me and the rest where thinking we needed an stop at an gasstation cause we really needed the fresh air and an walk to stretch our legs.
the girls and me decided that we were hungry and we had our period all on the same time, how weird xD the boys don't like it.
when the bus arrived on the gasstation, we literally jumped out of the tourbus and buyed ourselves chocolate and stole the tv from the guys and started watching a girlsmovie.
i realised that i didn't smoked for a while and i called Steel, "Steel! do you come to smoke an cigarette? "
"hell yes!" Steel said.
and we walked outside and sat down on a bench on the parkingplace from the gasstation.
i sat down, and grabbed my cigarette and litted it and inhaled the smoke deeply and blew it out again and i sighed and said " i just can't fucking believe this.., i mean this was our dream Steel, and now it has come true! "
Steel smiled and said " yeah, know what you mean girl, i just can't believe it all myself to....this is some kind of dream that has come true and i'm fucking happy about it!"
Steel had finished smoking her cigarette and said," i'm going back, your coming ? "
"nah, gonna smoke another cigarette, and need to think an bit..." i said.
Steel looked at me and said "your sure?" and i nodded and said "i'm sure Steel."
Steel walked back to the tourbus and i sat by my own.
thinking and thinking and remember a lot of the last few years.
i curled my legs up untill my chin and cried a bit, i just couldn't help it, i just felt like i needed it and i asked myself "why you Richard, why you..."
while i was still crying i looked at the sky, it was night and the stars were shining beautifully in the sky.
it made me feeling sad even more, it rememberd me of those beautiful nights i had with Richard.
i felt the tears burning on my cheeks and grabbed another cigarette and lit it up, and inhaled the smoke deeply and blew it out. and again and over again untill when my cigarette was gone.
and i litted up another and inhaled slower.
"your okay Alissaa? " i heard Lauri saying.
i turned and i saw him watching me, and i said "i'm just not feeling that happy, long story..."
He looked at me and said "wanna tell me? "
i shook my head and said " no , i don't want to, it hurts to much..."
"but when you talk about something , some things maybe will reduce..." Lauri said.
i looked at him angry, and said " i just DON'T want to talk about it, it just fucking hurts to much!!"
i started crying again and i started running back to the tourbus, but someone grabbed my arm and pulled me back and hugged me and Lauri started talking "i'm sorry, i didn't wanted to push you in anything, please do believe me if i say that you can always trust me!"
i nodded and just cried and holded him and he holded me.
"i'm sorry, that i yelled to you " i said to Lauri.
he putted his hand under my chin and lifted my head up carefully and said "don't worry about it, i can see you've been hurt very very much, and i would be gladd if i can help you to ease the pain..."
again i felt the tears falling from my eyes and i said sobbing "sorry i'm like this now, it's just all so hard to deal with..."
" i can see that, you just have to know you can trust me whenever you want to, and when you want to, talk to me about it..." Lauri said.
i nodded and dried my tears off and said "Thanks, i really needed this i guessed, i mean the girls are good to me to, they have done so many things for me..."
Then Pauli stood in the opening of the door from the bus and yelled "Alissaa, Lintu!! Come on!! the driver want's to leave here!"
We nodded and we walked back to the bus, Lauri still had his arm around me and when he saw Pauli looking he quickly took his arm back.
when i came back in the bus, i saw the girls looking and i just smiled and nodded to give a sign i'm okay.
i went to my bunker and took the picture from Richard out of my bag and looked at it, i smiled, just me and him together, that was one hell of an time, we were both on the same concert from Hysterica, and i rememberd that we had an hell of a afterparty.
"your okay ? " Lenn said.
i looked up and said "yeah i'm fine lenn.."
Lenn looked at the picture in my hand and said "that was one hell of a concert!"
i smiled and said "yeah indeed, that was an hell of an concert..." i looked again on the picture and putted it carefully back in my bag.
Lenn took me back to the livingroom of the bus and i sat on the couch next to lauri and we all picked an movie to watch together.
we decided we would watch Dancer in the dark.
i watched the movie but i felt my eyes were going to be havier and when i woke up again, i layed against someone and i looked and i smiled " it was Lauri, bet he didn't had the nerves to wake me up and had layed an blanket over me."
i carefully pushed the blanket away and stood up to get something to drink, but a sleepy voice said " and where do you think you are going missy ? "
i turned and smiled and said "getting something to drink, i guess i fall asleep when the movie was playing."
Lauri nodded and said "yeah, didn't wanted to wake you up when the movie was finished."
i smild and said "what do you wanna drink ? "
"an cola please " he said.
i grabbed to glasses and filled them with cola and gave it to him and sat down next to him on the couch.
"what time is it ? " i asked.
"7 o'clock in the morning " Lauri answered.
"jesus christ, fucking early normally i can't get out of my bed..." i said.
Lauri giggled and said " your not the only one.. "
i smiled and said " still thanks for don't waking me up"
"no thanks, you really needed it" Lauri said.
i hugged him and said "still thanks"
Lauri just smiled and said " going to ask if we can make an stop at an gasstation, i really need an cigarette..."
i laughed and said "good idea!"
Lauri walked away to the busdriver and came back a few minutes later and he said "he's going to stop at the next gasstation!"
i smiled and said "jeeej!"
then i hurt my phone ringing, but when i felt in my pockets in wasn't there, so i started searching it and crawled on the floor from the bus to search.
but Lauri said dryly "looking for this ? "
i sighed and said "were did you found it ? "
"on the couch!" Lauri said smiling.
i sighed and took my phone and said "Lintugirl here.. "
"hi hun!!" how are you ? " i heard Anne saying on the other side of the phone..
"ooh hi hun! How are you ? How's it in Romania ? " i asked.
Lauri looked weirdly at me and held his arms like who's Anne?
i smiled and nodded that i would tell him later.

Anne : Soo how's life there in The Netherlands?
me: *laughing* i'm not in The Netherlands anymore
Anne: wow? how come?
me: because i'm touring with The Rasmus !!!
Anne: No ? really ? you're making an fucking joke!!
me: i'm not! and were in Romania in 2 months!
Anne: oohh really ? that's soo awesome!!
me: i will get you backstage passes!
Anne : your amazing! So when are we going to organize an party ?
me: don't know yet, because of the change of plans, i don't know yet when i will return...
Anne: okay, then we will see! but i've to go!
me: okay, talk to ya later hun! have an nice day !

and i hung up the phone again.
"who was that ? " Lauri asked.
i smiled and said "that was an friend of mine from Romania! She's just so sweet! totally in love with Eicca's music and himself.!!

after a few hours everyone woke up and was satisfied to know we would arrive soon at the hotel, so we could get some rest before we had to give an concert tomorrow.
when we arrived, we all took our bags and stuff with us and checked in at the informationdesk.
the woman behind it gave us our keys and me, Steel and Lenn where sharing an room, Sara and Rebel where sharing an room to.
Aki and Lauri where together and so where Pauli and Eero.
i heard Eero and Pauli giggling and i said "what are you guys laughing ? "
cause we think we have the best room, because we already know what the loudest rooms will be under us all!"
i smiled and said "bet you know it, so do i , i like party's!!"
both the guys growned and said "oh no, we thought only Lauri and Aki were the party animals, but we have 3 more!"
"exactly 5!" i heard rebel giggling
i had to laugh to when i saw the faces from Pauli and Eero and even more when i saw the faces from Lauri and Aki, they were totally stunned by us of being party animals.
"i think it's going to be an rough night", i thought giggling.
me and the girls went to our rooms and putted our stuff away and i got tired, thank god i had my own bedroom, the suite was quite big, so i loved it.
i fall on my bed, and falled inmidiatly in sleep.
when i woke up, i heard the girls laughin in the livingroom of the suite, so i walked into it and said" what are you girls up to ? "
"we are going out with Lauri and Aki, Lauri asked if you where coming to"
i smiled and said "sure i'm coming!!"
and i turned around and pulled on my leather trouser and leather corset so i would look totally stunning.
i putted on some make - up and did my hair, and i pulled on my boots.
when we came in the lobby of the hotel, i saw Lauri's mouth fell open, me and the girls giggled, we knew we looked good, we were all in leather, so how could they resist it ? "
i saw Lauri's eyes focussing on my body and i blushed an bit, i couldn't help it, it was just the way he was looking at me, the same way Richard looked at me... it felt soo weird.
Lauri handed his arm and i hooked my arm into his and with that we walked to the neirest pub and sat down at an table.
when we came inside i asked who wanted something to drink, ofcourse we all wanted an beer, so i ordered 7 beers.
then i felt an hand on my thigh and i looked, an weird man was talking against me in his own language so i said in english "please hold your hands off me... "
the man started laughing and said "ooh you're not from around here... don't want to come home with me babe ? " and he looked at his friends who were laughing.
i said "you've had your last warning ... "
the barman putted 7 beers in front of me and i said he could make an bill. he nodded and did what i said.
when i came back, i saw Lauri looking furious at the man who was annoying me.
i smiled and said " don't get mad Lauri, i can handle it myself, just ask the girls if you don't believe me... "
Lauri looked at the girls and Sara said "really in 3 kicks she lays that man down!"
Aki and Lauri looked unbelievble at me and said "what ? now you are making me scared..."
i smiled and said "guys i've had some selfdefence lessons, i just know how to kick..."
i already saw the boys holding their hands in front of their sensitivest place and i giggled, and said "don't worry guys won't use it against you!!"
after a few hours i needed to go the toilet so i went through the small hall and went into the lady's room.
when i came back out of the hall i noticed the man who was bothering me, was waiting, i pretended that i didn't saw the man and wanted to leave him behind ...
but he grabbed me and i said slowly " okay, this was your last warning and now i have enough of it."
but the man stood behind me and his arms were around me.
I fell hard on his foot and then kicked at his shin to, then I turned around and gave him a knee in his cross.
the man fall onto the floor and i said " don't try it ever again or you else..."
when i saw Lauri's face i had to laugh, his mouth was open of surprise and said "well you can save yourself indeed!"
i giggled and said "well know what to do now, but if he had an weapon, i don't know if i would have done the same!"
with that we paid the bill and went back to the hotel, we wished the guys goodnight and went to bed.
when i lay in my bed i couldn't sleep, i had to think about Richard again.
after a while i falled asleep, but i got an nightmare...
it was just all my fault, i saw myself running after Richard, faster and faster, but how faster i go, it only seems he's going to fade away and finally he did, i was just to late to save him... it was just all my fault...

i suddenly woke up, sweating all over my body, and i cried. i really needed someone now, but not the girls i realised.
i stood up, still crying and found the door to Lauri's room and i knocked on it.
and again, slowly the door opened and Lauri stood with his sleepy face in the opening of the door, but when i saw me crying, he suddenly was awake and hugged me and asked " your okay Alissaa? "
i shook my head and said "no i'm not okay.., can i sleep with you ? , i don't want to be alone... "
"ofcourse you can sleep here..." Lauri said.
and he brought me to the bed and layed me down, and came layed down next to me, i instinctly moved over to him and layed against him.
Lauri smiled and said "don't worry, go to sleep, i'm here to watch over you.."
and with that i fall asleep with my arms around him, which was now the safest place on earth for me.....